Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize