I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
