I skipped work to stalk him.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
