I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
