Where is the hickey?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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