Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
