Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
whose ass print is on the piano?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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