And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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