I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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