I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
