the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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