Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
