i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
