She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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