We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
