i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
