Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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