Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
