my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
