Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize