After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
