that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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