I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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