Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
