I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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