she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
