careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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