She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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