I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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