just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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