As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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