I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm passing your future prison.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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