We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Damn victory sex feels great
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
