Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
