You're my little dorito
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
