Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
