oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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