i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize