My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize