You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
