I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
