Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
