It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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