There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
