Non-Jews are for practice
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
