I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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