Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
