I hate your face
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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