using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
