I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
