is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
