haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
