Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
