This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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