You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
