So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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