Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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