after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Mom said you looked used
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
