just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
