you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
