I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
