scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You are the jesus of drinking
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
