I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
