Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
