I wanna bring you to show and tell
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
