I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
