Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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